Discipline vs. Motivation: The Reason Why You Can’t Move Forward In Life
In self development circles, there’s always been a debate of discipline and motivation.
As in:
- What matters more
- What matters less
- How they interplay
- Why you can or can’t have one without the other
- Etc, etc, etc.
As someone who has been doing self development work for the past 14 years and writing about it for the past 9, I’ve tried all sorts of approaches when it comes to discipline and motivation over the years to achieve goals.
In this article I’m going to discuss exactly what the difference between discipline and motivation is, why your over-reliance on one is sinking you, and why it’s easy to feel motivated initially but harder to maintain progress without discipline.
What is the difference between discipline and motivation?
I’ve always thought of motivation as something which starts action, while self discipline is something which sustains it.
In this instance, you can view motivation as the igniter 🔥, while self-discipline is the fuel which sustains the spark ⛽️.
Motivation pushes act as short-term catalysts that inspire immediate action, akin to a burst of energy.
For any action, you will always need a reason to why you’re going to do it. That is motivation.
You are motivated to go to the gym.
You are motivated to go on monk mode.
You are motivated to talk to that woman.
You are motivated to apply for promotion.
You are motivated to move to another city.
All of these are forms of motivation.
But eventually, that motivation dies. Meaning, you forget why you’re doing it in the first place long after that emotion has subsided.
That’s when you lean on your discipline. And that’s what self-discipline is. Doing something that you know you need to do long after the emotion why you want to do it has faded.
Self-discipline can exist without motivation, because it relies on habit formation and consistency.
This is what people mean by “prioritize self-discipline over motivation“ or something similar.
Why Motivation Is Unreliable
You’ve probably heard it before: “I just need to get motivated.”
You may have uttered these words yourself.
But it’s this mindset which is keeping you stuck.
Motivation is fleeting. It comes in waves, like an adrenaline rush after watching an inspiring video or reading a powerful quote.
In the book The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, they say “willpower is on will call“.
Meaning once the reason/emotion fades for doing the thing – you will need to rely on habitual discipline to make it through.
Motivation is emotion-driven.
It’s based on how you feel at a given moment.
But here’s the truth—your feelings are irrelevant when it comes to long-term success. If you only act when you feel like it, you’ll never build anything meaningful. Motivation is often fleeting and can diminish when challenges arise.
Over-reliance on motivation is the reason so many people start things but never finish.
What Role Does Intrinsic Motivation AKA Self Motivation Play?
At this point you might ask:
“Well wait, can’t I get motivated from the inside out?”
And yes you can. This is part of your “why”, your reason. This is known as “intrinsic motivation”.
Being self-motivated plays a crucial role in help you achieve goals. It’s the driving force that comes from within, motivating people to pursue things without external pressures or rewards.
Unlike extrinsic motivation, which relies on external factors, intrinsic motivation is fueled by a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment (again, your “why”).
When you are intrinsically motivated, you are more likely to stay focused and committed to your objectives, even when faced with challenges and setbacks. This inner drive helps you maintain consistency and develop self-discipline, which are essential for long-term success.
For example, let’s say you were/are overweight. If you’re passionate about losing weight, your intrinsic motivation will keep you going even when the initial excitement fades.
To foster intrinsic motivation, it is important to identify and align with your values, passions, and interests. By doing so, you can tap into your inner drive and stay motivated to achieve your goals.
This alignment not only enhances your sense of purpose but also makes the journey towards your goals more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Self Discipline: The Backbone of Success
Let’s talk about discipline for a bit.
Long-term, rock solid discipline is THE biggest factor in where you end up in life.
Are there people who start out with advantages/disadvantages in life? Absolutely.
But those are factors outside of your control. The only thing you can control is your approach to life. And you do that by how much self-discipline you bring to your daily habits, which in turn shapes your lives and improves their quality.
The Assassin of Inconsistency and Lack of Progress
Discipline is the assassin of inconsistency. It doesn’t rely on feelings—it operates on commitment.
While motivation can provide the initial drive to start pursuing challenging goals, it is self-discipline that sustains the effort over time.
And no: discipline is not gleefully going to work. It’s not you picking your kids up from school. It’s not even staying faithful in a relationship.
These are obligations. You have to do them because external pressure forces you to do it.
You will get fired if you don’t go to work.
You will be seen as a deadbeat if you’re not there for your kids.
You will be seen as a shitty partner if you stray from the relationship and it’s not an open relationship.
Self discipline is exercised by doing things that you don’t have to do.
You don’t have to go to the gym.
You don’t have to work on your side hustle on the weekends.
You don’t have to network with other individuals.
And that’s what separates people who move forward in life from those who don’t.
But that’s not what society will tell you.
“It’s Not Your Fault”
Modern societal narratives operate on lack of accountability, lack of agency, and blame/finger-pointing.
Various groups will tell you “hey man, it’s not your fault you don’t have the life you want. THEY did this to you.“
And again, while some of that may be true, the fact is: you’re a fucking adult. You’re not a little child.
Children are at the mercy of adults in their world. You as an adult, are not (or shouldn’t be).
I personally believe that social media and digital addiction are keeping people stuck as children mentally because they encourage evasive behaviors and lack of accountability.
For example: online dating on somewhere like Tinder.
If someone loses interest at some point in the interaction, instead of saying “hey, I’ve appreciated our connection but I don’t think this is going to work out” someone can take the easy way out and “ghost” the other person.
This creates confusion on the other person’s end and it creates a habit of “taking the easy way out” for the person that did it.
This then spreads to other areas of their life and creates someone who needs to rely on external motivation because they never build the self-discipline to do the hard things rather than the easy things.
The Best Approach Is a Blended One
The truth is as I alluded to earlier: you need a blended approach.
Use motivation to get you started and discipline to keep you going.
Combining discipline with intrinsic motivation leads to better results.
Sure, get pumped up by an exciting idea, an inspiring speech, or a success story.
But go out there and start taking action.
This is why disciplined people always outperform motivated people in the long run and are always achieving goals. They’re not dependent on hype—they’ve programmed themselves to take action no matter what and that action is often relentless.
How to Break Free from the Motivation Mindset and Start Cultivating Discipline
If you want to get serious about winning in life, you need to start strengthening your self-discipline. Here’s how:
1. Stop Getting Pumped Up Constantly
If you’re someone who runs to podcasts, to YouTube, to books, to social media, to whatever to get motivated–you’re probably someone who will quit when the going gets tough (and it WILL get tough).
Action Step: Make it a point of duty to try and work without motivation. Meaning, just do the tasks on your to-do list. No hoorahs, no big parades, just fucking do it.
2. Stop Making Excuses
Excuses are the enemy of discipline.
The more excuses you make, the less self discipline you’ll be able to exercise.
In fact, in his book No Excuses: The Power of Self-Discipline, Brian Tracy talks about a magical place called “Someday Isle”.
As in: someday I’ll make that money, someday I’ll ask that girl out, someday I’ll move to X location.
And what is the favorite topic of discussion on Someday Isle? Excuses.
My parents didn’t raise me well. I was bullied in school. Girls always overlooked me.
Blah, blah, blah.
In order to achieve everything that’s possible for you, you have to “vote yourself off the island” by refusing to make excuses.
Action Step: Vote yourself OFF Someday Isle. No more excuses.
3. Remind Yourself WHY You’re Doing This
It’s very easy to forget why you’re doing anything self-improvement related. In this case, trying to build self-discipline.
In his book Start With Why, Simon Sinek outlines this quite clearly saying the organizations that pull through and make the most impact are disciplined ones backed by a strong why.
And if a company that makes millions of dollars relies on a “why” to justify its operations, why wouldn’t you need one?
Action Step: Clarify what you’re fighting for. Make it visible and remind yourself of it every single day.
4. Set Non-Negotiables
Decide on the key habits you will execute no matter what.
Meaning, no matter what happens on that day – some version of it gets done.
Whether that be gymming, writing, studying, skill development–whatever. It gets done. Automatic and non-negotiable.
When “musts” become “shoulds”, that’s how your life lapses and never really changes that much.
Action Step: Write out a list of non-negotiables and stick to them.
5. Develop a Routine & Structure
Discipline thrives on structure.
Set fixed times for your work, workouts, and key habits.
The more automatic your actions, the less room there is for procrastination.
This is not a license to be a robot, but to be more disciplined. That’s all there is to it.
Action Step: Start creating an “SOP” standard operating procedure for your days. You will wake up X. You will train Y. You will go out Z. Start scheduling things.
6. Train Your Mind to Fall In Love With Work
A major part of discipline is about rewiring your mind to enjoy the process.
Stop looking for quick fixes and magic bullets. There are none.
Instead, start valuing the act of showing up. Fall in love with laying one brick a day.
Action Step: Train yourself to keep showing up. Keep checking off items on the to-do list. As Will Smith said “I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as can be laid…and you do that every single day and soon, you have a wall.”
7. Stack Wins Daily
Following from the point above, you need to stack wins (which is helped by showing up).
Progress fuels momentum. Make discipline easier by stacking small wins every day. This reinforces the identity of someone who executes no matter what.
Action Step: Train yourself to be consistent and relentless. Build it like a muscle.
Final Word on Discipline and Motivation
Motivation might get you started, but discipline is what keeps you going. It’s the difference between those who dream and those who achieve. Between those who try and those who dominate.
So the next time you think, “I just need motivation”, remind yourself—what you actually need is discipline.
Let me know in the comments, what’s your balance of discipline and motivation? How has it (or hasn’t) helped you achieve your goals?
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